it wasn't lemon gatorade
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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