Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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