Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
