I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
