My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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