so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
