Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
