Kiss
Puke
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
