i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
