I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
