went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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