My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
