i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
