did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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