ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we're making bets on your personal life
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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