My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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