The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
