I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize