im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
