ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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