I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
