How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
operation have a gay friend backfired
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
