You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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