Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
