I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize