You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
