Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
