Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
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You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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