i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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