He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
