I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
