My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
