he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
