R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
