My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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