im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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