shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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