Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
