i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
