I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
