It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
