I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
