I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize