Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
