My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would ride that face into the sunset
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
