Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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