Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
