I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
