you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to make out with him forever
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
