hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize