dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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