even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
