im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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