Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
