how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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