how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My bed smells like the plague
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