he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
