Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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