Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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