Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
